Sometimes Love Just Gets in the Way
by BookCaseGirl
Summary: C/B Angst One-shot. Chuck and Blair are at a gala and find themselves in a situation that forces them to confront something they never thought they would have to.
1. Blair

**Author's Note:** Okay, so I'm not really back since tomorrow I'm leaving for about a week, but...I just needed to write, and that hasn't happened in a while...so this came out.

_Sometimes Love Just Gets In The Way_

She didn't understand why it had to feel this way – like her heart was just being torn out of her chest with each moment he spent leaned toward _her_ ear. She simply could not comprehend the way her throat went dry and tears burned the backs of her eyes only because he was rubbing _her_ stomach.

Blair Waldorf felt bitter; the enormous, green monster of jealousy swallowed her whole and she couldn't bear it. She had never let these emotions consume her so wholly, but now – watching him, her past (present, and future) love – Blair found that she just no longer had the stamina to fight them off.

Her eyes burned and ached from the tears that had never fallen, her stomach churned with the butterflies that never flew away, and her legs wobbled mercilessly whenever she neared him.

But it seemed that Chuck Bass never saw this. He simply smiled at her, cordial as ever, and kindly spoke to her as if she were an old friend. This was what hurt the most. That he _refused_ to acknowledge her obvious discomfort (displeasure) at the situation they had been put in. As she was standing in front of him, frantically fighting for control of her own body and emotions, he acted as if nothing was wrong. Like there wasn't a gigantic elephant in the room, waving its trunk in their general direction.

It killed her to see him with someone who was not her.

And it absolutely _killed_ her to see him _married_ to a woman whom one, most _definitely _was not her, and two, was _absolutely-no-doubt-about-it_ pregnant.

"Care to dance with an old lover?" his smooth, velvety voice never ceased to send delightful chills down her spine, tickling the top of her bottom and curling around her tail-bone seductively. She turned to face him, and forced a smile. Blair silently ordered her legs to still and pleaded for her heart to quit pounding at a mile a minute.

But then he took her hands, and every thought she had been having (and had once had, and would ever have) flew out of her mind, like an elusive smoke that just disappeared. All Blair felt was the warm contact that existed between his palm and her own, the sparks that flew up between his torso and hers (surely sparks that were only felt by her and her alone).

They glided gracefully across the shiny marble of the floor, her shoes slipping a little bit when he dipped her down and her auburn curls were nearly flat against the floor. He looked into her eyes with his own warm, caramel ones, and she felt herself go faint. And then she remembered the woman on the other side of the room – the woman who was probably most definitely watching them at that moment, and who she should care about a lot more than she did.

However, she _loathed_ that woman. With every fiber of her being. Blair'd never met her, never cared to, but the only feeling she associated with 'Mrs. Bass' was pure and utter black hatred. She knew it was wrong, knew that the things she thought would surely send her on the first available red-eye to hell, but she just couldn't _help it_. The only thing she'd ever wanted to gain in life had been taken from her – a love she had thought was strong enough to withstand anything at all, and the bright prospect of a happy marriage.

More than she loathed...Caroline, was her name? She thought so. More than she loathed Caroline, she hated _herself_. She hated all the self-respect, the dignity, she had lost. Blair Waldorf had been a name that was once so feared, that people cowered at the first syllable uttered. And now, when her name was mentioned, it was met with a pitying glance, perhaps a "oh, how _is_ she doing?" It hurt her immensely that she had fallen so dramatically.

But what she hated the most about herself was that she still _loved_ him.

"So, is it a boy or a girl?" Blair inquired in what she desperately hoped was a coy, somewhat flirtatious voice (not a shaky, apprehensive one, as she imagined it was).

He stared at her blankly for a moment, the slightest flicker of shock present in his eyes before he replied. "It's a boy." His smirk stretched into a proud smile, seemingly without his consent, and she noticed a small blush coloring his cheeks.

But _Blair_ was supposed to be causing that blush; _Blair_ was supposed to be inducing that adorable, little-boy smile. Not _her._

"Congratulations!" she said, her voice full of fake excitement, her eyes hard behind the thrilled facade she presented to him. She remembered a time when he would recognize this in her expression, and pester her until she confided in him. This no longer existed, obviously, but Blair still felt something inside of her give a tug and a warm feeling of nostalgia overwhelmed her.

"Thank you," he replied, giving her that shy smile that had once made heat pool between her legs but now only made her cold, battered heart fall deep down to the bottoms of her feet. She looked up to meet his eyes, only to catch his steady gaze and drop them back to the floor, feeling very sullen all of a sudden.

"Could we...maybe..." he trailed off, and she felt their direction changing. They were headed somewhere far away – someplace that was easily out of the line of vision of Caroline Bass. She allowed herself to be dragged along with him, feeling defeated and weak in his presence.

"Are you okay?" Chuck asked her, using his crooked index finger to bring her chin up so she could look at him – into those eyes that she could spend centuries gazing into.

She couldn't take it. Couldn't blink, couldn't breathe, she had to _force_ her heart to keep beating as she stood there in front of him, feeling utterly exposed and naked. Yet the still looked into one another's eyes – their souls, really – and in that moment, she knew he felt it too. Felt the thing that was pulling them together, once again. The ties that they had, no matter how hard each of them tried, they could not be broken.

Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf were tethered to one another, for better or for worse, _forever._

"No," Blair sobbed out. She broke away from him and ran into a deserted hallway, tears filling her eyes as her arms automatically found their way around her waist and she hugged herself. Falling back against the wall, she slid down to the floor, getting lost in the sound of her gut-wrenching cries of complete silence.

And then he was there. Everywhere. His hands, his smell, his nose, his mouth. His voice was muttering something softly into her ear as he hungrily lavished her with the attention she had dreamed about for so long. His lips did not near her own, and he did not make any move to undress her, nor did she to him. They just moved together, entangled, and that was all they needed.

"Say it."

"No," she gasped in reply, ripping her body away from his own. They both knew the word was not an answer to his request, but rather a protest to the current predicament they found themselves caught up in.

His breath was rough and raw with passion when she felt it hit her neck, hot and wanting. But she didn't want to feel it. She would never put herself in a position to be the _other_ _woman_. Especially when Chuck's significant other was his _wife _and _pregnant_.

"Blair, I...God, I've missed you. So...so much," his voice cracked and she felt wetness on his cheeks when he leaned his face on her bare shoulder. His head moved up and she felt his thin, warm lips press against her shoulder, in the place where his cheek had just been. They moved higher, to the very nape of her neck, and then to the skin behind her ear. Her head rolled around on her shoulders and hit the wall with a light thump as his mouth traveled down to the valley between her breasts.

His hands stroked up and down her forearm and she grasped his hair, bringing his face up to hers and kissing first the corner of his mouth, before placing her lips under his own – anywhere but _on_ his mouth. That was an unspoken taboo between them, nothing on the mouth.

She had sudden flashes of him in bed with Caroline, the hot sweat of passion coating their skin as they lay beneath the sheets. It disgusted her so much that she felt bile rise in her throat and pushed him away.

Blair was so completely repulsed by herself and her actions – as well as Chuck's actions – that she immediately got up and ran into the bathroom, letting the rancid waste spill from her mouth. The purging seemed endless to her; it felt as if she had been in there for ages before she pulled away from the sink.

Only to see Chuck Bass leaning against the doorway, staring at her with that intense look from many moons ago. She knew what was coming.

"Why are you doing it again?" he asked her – his voice mostly made up of confusion, though there was a hint of concern in his tone.

"Do I have a choice!" she rasped out maniacally, throwing her hands out in front of her. No longer did she feel insecure or nervous as she glared (instead of gazed) back at him. Blair's fiery look bore into him, and she found herself wishing that she could burn a hole in him, just so that he could feel the same pain she had felt all these years.

"You've always had a choice, Blair," he answered quietly, looking at the tile of the floor now. Sparkling on his cheek was a single bead of wetness that had fallen from his eye.

"No, Chuck. I _haven't_. If I'd had a choice, I would not _be_ here right now. I would still be with Nate, and we would be happily married. Because that was the _safe_ decision, the _right_ one. But my heart had to pick _you_ to fall I love with! And I pay for that decision every goddamned day of my life." She had to put more distance between them, thus she strode over to the opposite side of the bathroom.

He wouldn't have any of it, and closed the distance in between them within three seconds flat. His hands grasped her own, but she took them away. She was done giving in. Blair summoned an amount of strength she was unaware she'd had and used it to tell him the thing she had been fantasizing about since he had first left (since that day when her life had been so changed forever, when she had become so overcome with anger, that it swallowed her whole).

"Please, Chuck, hear me when I say – I still love you, with all of my heart. And understand me when I tell you that there is not _one_ sane part of me that wants to. It's taken so much out of me, loving you this whole time – while you're with _her_. It hurts _so much_ and I am just completely _sick of it_," Blair said to him in a voice of such sorrow that it nearly broke her heart to know that she was speaking it.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't see you, I can't speak to you. I need things...I need it to be as if you've never existed, never been a part of my life before. So please, _please_ Chuck, _leave me alone_. I never want to see you again, because it _kills_ me." Her eyes were filled with hot, watery tears as she looked up at him. Chuck's face was sticky with his own tears and he reached out to wipe hers away.

She allowed this touch. She allowed it because she knew it would be their last physical (and emotional) contact. She tried to save the sensation she had in her mind, and file it away – so that, one day, when she truly _was_ over him, it could be pulled out again for her to reflect on a passion she had known only long-ago.

"I do love you, Blair," he said, leaning forward and touching his lips to hers. Their mouths moved together in a dance that they were both somewhat surprised they still knew the steps to. He pulled away and she looked into his eyes one last time.

"I love you too, Chuck. But sometimes..." Blair stopped, gazing out the frosty window of the bathroom they were in. "Sometimes love just gets in the way." She exited the bathroom, and left Chuck Bass and the past they had once shared behind.

**End Note:** I love reviews!


	2. Chuck

**Author's Note:** I had the suggestion a couple of times to write another chapter from Chuck's POV, and I agree that it will make the story much more complete. I have sort of toyed with the idea of making it a multi-chap..but I think it actually is better alone. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys - and I really do appreciate the fantastic response I got from Blair's POV! Also, thank you especially to Michelle, who looked both over, and suspensegirl for all of her encouragement! :)

_Sometimes Love Just Gets In The Way, Pt. 2_

God, was this woman beautiful. Warmth and radiance were exuded from her slowly ballooning form, and he could not help but want to take her – right there, in front of all of these people.

His wife's cropped brown hair glittered in the bright light of the ballroom, the diamond-accented bobby pins in her hair adding additional sparkle. Her eyes were coy, playful, as they bantered back and forth. Her hand was down on his leg, slowly moving back and forth in a tantalizingly teasing fashion.

Chuck found that he was completely, undeniably lost in his wife Caroline's company and companionship.

Yet, he was also hyper-aware of the pair of dark, chocolate-brown eyes that were staring jealously at them from afar. It was easy for him to tell at a quick glance (he couldn't get caught, of course) that she was burned from the inside out from seeing him and his wife together, talking so closely.

Chuck wanted _so badly_ to look at Blair – to gaze at her the way he once had. But he was a torn man; he loved his wife, adored her more than life itself, and at the same time, wanted to go back to Blair because it felt as if his life's puzzle were missing a very important piece. He felt an overwhelmingly amorous emotion sweep through him at the sight of his six-months pregnant spouse, but when he noticed Blair, his stomach swooped inside of him, and the butterflies were awakened once more.

He no longer participated in the activities of a philander. Chuck Bass was a changed man; a man who stayed with one woman, and one woman alone. He couldn't find it in himself to carry on an affair because of the extreme guilt he knew it would bring.

And all this he knew as he strolled across the floor and asked Blair Waldorf to dance with him – his excuse to his wife being that she was "an old friend whom he just wanted to check in with." She, of course, graciously allowed it.

Chuck saw the extreme despondence in her eyes. He noticed the cautious way her hands were draped around his neck, and took note of the way her mouth had formed a thin line since they had begun to move on the marble floor. All he wanted was to kiss a smile onto the lips that had once been so plump and full of life. All he wished for was to breathe some exuberance into this Blair he did not recognize – a Blair whose eyes were dull and flat, and whose voice was full of falseness and cover-ups.

He saw the thoughts flashing by in her eyes. Chuck recalled a time when he'd been able to keep up with the numerous sentiments that whizzed by in front of his eyes, but by now he had easily grown accustomed to the habits and mannerisms of Caroline – habits and mannerisms which were so heavy in volume that they had caused him to be _forced_ to erase the ones of Blair.

And, suddenly, she spoke to him.

"So, is it a boy or a girl?" The voice she inquired with made something low in his stomach stir – it was an unbelievably flirtatious and inviting voice, one that made him want to ravish _her_ right then and there, irregardless of his wife. He felt a wave of shock shoot through him, but quickly recovered, mentally slapping himself ("you _idiot_, you've got a perfectly _fine_ wife and child on the way. _Stop _this.").

"It's a boy," he felt an unexpected smile sweep across his mouth, and blushed slightly as he recalled an image of his wife, gorgeous as always, and undoubtedly pregnant.

"Congratulations!" she exclaimed, her eyes bright with enthusiasm – though something was off. There had been a time in the past when he'd have been able to recognize whatever was hidden behind her eyes, but at that moment, he found himself simply dismissing it as his imagination (though somewhere deep within him, he knew he was only pushing away the tugging feeling because he truly _did_ know what was behind her eyes, and recognized it almost immediately as a cold, broken-beyond-repair, heart).

However, he only continued to appear oblivious to her. "Thank you," Chuck said in response, shooting her a small, shy smile. She suddenly seemed cautious being around him, and her eyes dropped to the ground, but not before their eyes met in an undeniably (no matter how hard he attempted to deny) intense moment.

"Could we...maybe...ahh..." he didn't know what was happening when the direction of their elegant waltz suddenly and abruptly changed. And then Chuck realized _he_ was the one leading them to the other side of the gigantic room, into a secluded corner, away from everything. But what Chuck noticed was especially interesting about this spot was that they were very far away from Caroline. He didn't understand why, and didn't make the effort to try and make sense of his actions.

"Are you...okay?" he heard the question leaving his mouth, and saw his finger reaching out to bring her chin up so she was staring straight into his eyes – yet he found himself still not believing any of this was truly happening. He was not doing this; it was _not_ who he was anymore.

But he loved her. Chuck loved Blair more than Caroline, that much he knew. And he had to confront these feelings, take care of them.

_Shut_ up_, you asinine bastard!_ He silently scolded himself, but the discipline he had been trying to force upon himself was rudely interrupted by a familiar stirring inside of him. It was something he had not had the privilege of feeling in – god, had it been _fourteen years_ already? The long (he had hoped it would be forever) dormant butterflies inside of him had been awakened.

He felt the pull between them, the electricity he had tried to convince her of all those years ago. It felt like his heart was tearing in two when she broke away from him – when he lost that contact he had no idea he had been craving. She gasped out a "no" and ran away from him, and Chuck could not help but feel completely and totally confused at the gesture. He hadn't even _said_ anything; what could have made her want to dash away from him so quickly?

...Unless _Blair_ felt it too.

That was enough to make Chuck run after her at full speed, all thoughts of his _wife and child_ out the window (he would later defend this as a heat-of-the-moment thing; a passion from long ago that had been re-awakened; though, he did know in his heart of hearts that this was a flat-out lie).

Chuck saw Blair slump against the wall, her body wrenching in all sorts of directions, her mouth agape in a silent cry of devastation. Her eyes were crumpled, and fresh wet tears streamed from the creases. He immediately went to her, kneeling down and nuzzling his face into the warm crevice of her neck. His lips ached for her skin, his hands burned to feel the silky strands of her hair; but, most of all, his ears longed to hear...

"Say it." Chuck heard a voice much like his uttering the words, but still could not fully believe it was him that was speaking them. He had a wife, for Christ's sake! He was _perfectly_ happy. There was a kid on the way, a wonderful son he could play with in the way his father had never played with him.

Yet that moment, seeing Blair, the whole evening really, had impacted him. It had made him realize that the puzzle piece he had thought was so inconsequential and unimportant was, in fact, the most important of all.

It held true love, intense passion, and the pull of a thousand elephants. But it also contained a bitter regret (beneath the surface), an overwhelming guilt, and the taste of the future of negativity that awaited them.

"No," she replied. He was aware that she was not replying to his request – it was easy for him to tell, now that he had been around her more – but rather responding to their current interactions.

Chuck found himself drawn to her once again, and he pushed his nose into her shoulder, breathing in her memory-filled scent. In that moment, he wanted her more than anything. He wanted to lavish her soft, supple skin with kisses, and show her that he still felt the same way he always had - even if the feelings had been pushed under the layers of his enormous (he would not deny) love he felt for Caroline.

"Blair, I...God, I've missed you. So...so much." He felt his throat go dry, and the wetness from his mouth traveled up to his eyes, where tears fell without his permission. He pressed his now-wet cheek against the smooth warmth of her shoulder before he moved his face up so that his lips were touching her shoulder in the same place his cheek had been. His mouth moved to her neck, and then went down to suck behind her ear in the sensitive place he had once known so well. He'd thought maybe she wouldn't react the same as she had so long ago, but, true to form, Blair's head lolled on her shoulders and fell back, hitting the wall with a slight thumping noise.

Chuck took a chance, letting his lips follow the path that the invisible string between them was taking him on – a path that took his mouth down to the dip in between her milky-skinned breasts. He felt a tug on his hair and allowed himself to submit to her action as she pulled his face to hers, and placed kisses all around his mouth, but never on it. He felt an unbearable need to be impossibly closer to her, to be pressed against her – but, most of all, to be _kissing_ her, their lips rough against one another, but softly passionate at the same time.

Suddenly, Blair broke away from him (resulting in a loss that burned like the pouring of alcohol on the cut of a sharp knife) and ran into the nearby ladies' room. He fought the guilt that was trying to worm its way into his soul, told the nagging voice in his mind to shut the _fuck_ up already. And he followed her in there, ignoring all of the red flags and flashing lights that were going off around him. He should have left, and gone back to his wife.

But – _he loved Blair_. He felt this love that was so unique and unlike the love he felt with Caroline. It was a love that could be put through the ringer, but still managed to stay alive.

He stopped in his tracks when he heard her painful retches from ten feet outside the restroom. His comfortable stroll broke into a worried and frantic gallop as he ran into the bathroom, pushing the door open forcefully. And, he stopped again; only this time, Chuck chose to take a more lax approach and leaned against the doorway, watching her.

It seemed like they had been in the bathroom for days, her throwing up the contents of a thousand meals, him watching intently. He wished he could remove himself from the situation, watch her like she was an animal on the Discovery channel – but he just _couldn't_. His own stomach churned as he gazed at Blair Waldorf throwing up in a white porcelain sink. Chuck's throat burned, and he swore he tasted the rancid-ness of bile in his own mouth. Everything she was feeling at that moment, he felt too.

Chuck Bass had never felt closer to Blair – and the pathetic nature of the situation in which this occurred was _definitely not _lost on him.

And then, seemingly as fast and abrupt as it had started, the stream halted, and Blair brought her head up. Her eyes met his and the fire he saw behind them made him gulp (her ire and frustration frightened him, for it was much more heated than it ever had been).

"Why are you doing it again?" he was shocked, confused, and his voice reflected that. He knew there was the tiniest glimmer of concern there as well, but mostly, he found that he was astounded that a thirty-two-year-old woman who had long-since kicked the habit was picking it right back up again.

"Do I have a choice?" she exclaimed, though her voice had no volume since the sound had been taken away and swirled down the sink along with all of the waste she had dispelled.

He suddenly felt guilty, and he did not know why. "You've always had a choice, Blair," he told her, eyes coming in contact with the suddenly fascinating black-and-white tile of the floor.

"No, Chuck. I _haven't_. If I'd had a choice, I would not _be_ here right now. I would still be with Nate, and we would be happily married. Because that was the _safe_ decision, the _right_ one. But my heart had to pick _you_ to fall I love with! And I pay for that decision every goddamned day of my life."

She said the words with such vehemence that he felt as if all the wind and air in his body had been ungracefully knocked out of him. Blair walked to the wall opposite him, fear now slightly evident in the fiery sparkle of her eyes. Despite the words that scorched him like a first-degree burn, and the look in her eyes that bore a hole through his heart and soul, Chuck closed the distance between them and grasped her hands.

Surprise did not begin to describe the feeling he was overcome with when she spoke again.

"Please, Chuck, hear me when I say – I still love you, with all of my heart. And understand me when I tell you that there is not _one_ sane part of me that wants to. Loving you all this time – while you're with her – has taken _so_ much out of me. It hurts _so much_ and I am just _completely sick of it_." Her eyes held nothing but an honest sadness, one that caused something inside of him to shift uncomfortably.

She told him she needed it to be as if they had never met, as if he had never even _existed_. While it hurt him, he knew that it needed to be done. _He_ had caused her current state; he knew it was his responsibility to give her the peace to end it. Blair asked him to leave her alone, to cease all contact between the two of them. He noticed new tears on her face and brought his hand up to her cheek, touching her one last time before they extinguished this flame for good.

"I do love you, Blair," Chuck told her, leaning in to press his lips to hers and move their mouths together in the manner they had both grown away from, but was surprisingly easy to come back to.

When they pulled away – his heart giving a pang of disappointment and a sense of loss almost greater than he had ever felt with her – she looked up into his eyes with her doe-like ones. He couldn't help but want to save this memory, so that he could always remember the intensity of his first love, the love that never died, and would burn inside him even when he was six feet under.

"I love you too, Chuck. But sometimes..." Blair looked away from him, and he that this was every bit as arduous for her as it was for him. "Sometimes love just gets in the way."

She left him then, walking out of the bathroom swiftly (how could she leave like that?). His heart gave one final tug as he watched her retreating form as long as he could before the wooden door finally closed.

And then he felt the string that had tethered them to one another for an insurmountable length of time break.

**End Note:** Well, I am leaving for a week...so reviews would be an excellent welcome home present when I return!


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